i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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