butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
