It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize