Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize