I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Shame is for Republicans.
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