see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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