Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
