Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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