I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
