It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
