You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
