What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
