At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
