What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
