the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
