woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
