We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
