In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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