On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
