she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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