he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
as a side note pls kill me
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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