We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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