Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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