we're blogging at a bar
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
