I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
