Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm too high and old for this...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
