Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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