I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
