I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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