capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Randomize
