I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
