I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
