i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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