I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
