i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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