Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
