I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
