i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
