No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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