nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
