sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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