I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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