I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
