my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize