So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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