Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
