you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
