I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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