I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
