How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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