Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
