In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I look excited, but its just a facade.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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