just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
