i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Princesses don't give blow jobs
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
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