At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
