I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
