belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm really into asian looking animals
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize