I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
