she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
